So.
Lots of stuff on my mind. We leave in a few hours for L.A. I'm really nervous.
I'm afraid my eardrums will pop.
I'm afraid I'll get lost in the airport.
I'm afraid of someone tricking me and stealing from me because I have no idea what I'm doing.
I'm afraid that my fear will make me have a breakdown and make Davy frazzled.
Basically I just need to get through the flight and I think I'll be good.
I can't wait to learn about God in a new way. I'm really hoping to take huge steps in my relationship with Him because sometimes its hard to grow and see new things in a relationship when you've been living in the same place, seeing the same things, and doing the same stuff everyday.
This is also true with Davy. This trip is an excellent opportunity to see each other in a different light. Even though we've been dating for so long, we don't spend time alone. Honestly, it's a way of coping with the physical restraint we have. We don't want to be tempted so we stick ourselves around family all the time. Which we absolutely love, may I add.
For this trip, we are going to have to stick together but we won't be in situations where we will be tempted or anything because we will be around strangers. We will only have each other to cling to until we get used to everything.
It's going to be awesome. Scary at the moment, but I know God will speak to us.
I can't wait to hear what He will tell Davy and I.
Please pray that we will be safe and my fears will be all-for-not. Also, that God uses us to be a vessel for Him :)
I'll keep you all posted on this adventure!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Davy-Doo-Baby-Boo
So I mentioned Davy in my last post and some of you may not know Davy. So I thought I'd do a post about him.
This is Davy.
This is Davy.
Hey Davy. You're lookin' cute behind that tree.
Davy is my boyfriend. We've been dating since September 2009. It's been a while.
We started dating when he was a sophmore and I was a senior. I know, for a girl to date a younger guy at that age, it's a big deal. Everybody is all like, "Isn't he really immature?" Yes, Davy, people ask me that. But I tell them what they don't expect.
Davy is a very mature guy.
It's true. Vey mature. Anyways, he's really smart. Like I said in my last post, he got a full ride to his college and was offered up the same deal at several other colleges. He's also made some moo-la off of scholarships. He's smart.
There are so many great things about Davy. He's a really relaxed guy. Like me, he loves to sit around watching movies and cuddling up a storm. In his free time, he likes to watch the Food Network and HGTV. His life goals are awesome. Getting a house with a lot of land, owning a million dogs, living temporarily in new places just for the experience, traveling. Many other little things.
Another thing about Davy: Music. Music music music. He loves it. He plays piano, drums, bass, a little guitar, and his main passion, trumpet. Oh man he is a fantastic trumpet player. That boy can play. Jazz is his way of expressing himself. Some people paint, some snap pictures, some write. Davy? He plays Jazz.
Davy is also a lover of God. He sneaks his Bible in class at high school, which is sort of crazy because I'm pretty sure that's not allowed. He knows how to make people feel really comfortable when he talks about God which is a really hard thing to do with such an uncomfortable subject for a lot of people.
Oh, and he's hilarious. He says and does the most funniest stuff. Here is a video of Davy parkouring from last summer:
Love ya, Davy!
Basically Davy is the greatest boyfriend ever. He looks really goofy in these videos, but Davy has a strong head on his shoulders. He's logical and has so much common sense.
Additionally, Davy is so incredibly sweet. Sometimes I can just loose it on him and he NEVER fires back. He has incredible patience with me. Davy is so good with my family as well. He loves to just sit around and talk with my mom and my dad and then crack jokes with the rest of my siblings. Family is big with him. His family is the best. He has two amazing, beautiful, God-loving sisters that are just on top of the world right now and they are just so lovely. His mom is so talented and makes the best food I've ever had. She makes me feel so comfortable and I absolutely love her. His dad is also crazy talented and jazzy, as well as goofy. They are just great.
So that's my boyfriend Davy. Jealous? :)
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Change of plans!
Scrapping the Goals. Your probably like, "What?" That was what I was saying, too. This whole time that I haven't been posting things, I've been thinking of what sort of goals I want to have for myself. I've been trying to think of everyday, normal goals for people who aren't into God to relate to. I wanted this blog to document my path in following Him and my ups and downs along the way, but I wanted to tack on other random things to get the rest of the world on board. I'll probably do that sometimes,
but I can't think about anything but God right now.
Part of me is annoyed and thinks, "Pump out some material that isn't preaching so that other people can relate to this blog, too." Then another part (a HUGE part) of me is like, "I just love God. All I want to do is tell people. It's all I want people to know."
So, that whole goal thing... nah. Not feeling it at this present time. Believe me, I want to learn piano and a new language, but there is too much going on this summer. Some of you may have seen my Facebook status that Davy and I are going on a trip to L.A in June, and we are :)
I'm so stoked. There is a christian organization called "Youth With A Mission (YWAM)" and they have schools all over the world. They have a decipleship training school that consists of 3 months of lecture and 3 months of outreach. I really wanted to do this program, but Davy has a full ride of college waiting for him this fall (which is a humongous blessing that will make married life easier for us) so we can't just leave for six months. However, YWAM came up with a new program this summer called "Circuit Riders," which is only 2 weeks of intense lecture. Basically, the lecture will consist of learning how to have a more intimate relationship with God and how to be a confident christian when preaching and living out His will.
So Davy and I applied.
We were accepted. We purchased the plane tickets. We are going to L.A. We are going to learn about God in a completely different way than we ever have. We are so excited... I can't even explain it.
I'll learn the piano later. There are way better stuff to document right now. I'm going to leave you with 2 things.
Number 1: http://jessicahover.blogspot.com/ This is Jessica Hover. She lives in L.A and works for YWAM. She is A-MAZING. Everything that she says is lovely. I cannot wait to see her again. Read everything on her blog! Also, she is gorgeous.
Number 2:
This is a video from Tenth Avenue North's singer, Mike Donehey. Who is also a-mazing. It's only 4 minutes long and he's funny, too! I love that he points out that all we are is "the deciple Jesus loves." I don't have to define myself in my accomplishments or those goals that I set for myself. I am the deciple Jesus loves and that is that. It's awesome.
but I can't think about anything but God right now.
Part of me is annoyed and thinks, "Pump out some material that isn't preaching so that other people can relate to this blog, too." Then another part (a HUGE part) of me is like, "I just love God. All I want to do is tell people. It's all I want people to know."
So, that whole goal thing... nah. Not feeling it at this present time. Believe me, I want to learn piano and a new language, but there is too much going on this summer. Some of you may have seen my Facebook status that Davy and I are going on a trip to L.A in June, and we are :)
I'm so stoked. There is a christian organization called "Youth With A Mission (YWAM)" and they have schools all over the world. They have a decipleship training school that consists of 3 months of lecture and 3 months of outreach. I really wanted to do this program, but Davy has a full ride of college waiting for him this fall (which is a humongous blessing that will make married life easier for us) so we can't just leave for six months. However, YWAM came up with a new program this summer called "Circuit Riders," which is only 2 weeks of intense lecture. Basically, the lecture will consist of learning how to have a more intimate relationship with God and how to be a confident christian when preaching and living out His will.
So Davy and I applied.
We were accepted. We purchased the plane tickets. We are going to L.A. We are going to learn about God in a completely different way than we ever have. We are so excited... I can't even explain it.
I'll learn the piano later. There are way better stuff to document right now. I'm going to leave you with 2 things.
Number 1: http://jessicahover.blogspot.com/ This is Jessica Hover. She lives in L.A and works for YWAM. She is A-MAZING. Everything that she says is lovely. I cannot wait to see her again. Read everything on her blog! Also, she is gorgeous.
Number 2:
This is a video from Tenth Avenue North's singer, Mike Donehey. Who is also a-mazing. It's only 4 minutes long and he's funny, too! I love that he points out that all we are is "the deciple Jesus loves." I don't have to define myself in my accomplishments or those goals that I set for myself. I am the deciple Jesus loves and that is that. It's awesome.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Goals! Part 1
So basically, this summer is going to be insanely awesome.
God has so many things in store. I can feel it. Plus, I have many things in
store for myself. So, I’m going get real with you guys and tell you those
things I have in store for myself. My summer goals, people J
Here’s the thing about this goal: I have a really nice keyboard. Do you think I use it? Nope.
Some soundtracks have cool cultural influences, like Indian music with a sitar or French music with an accordion. I love it all. My imagination runs wild with every note.
ANYWAYS. Strings. They obviously call to me, so I decided a piano will have to be my graduation gift.
So I got one. Two years of having it, and guess what I know…
Two scales. Ugh. Sad. Pathetic.
I still adore the music that comes from a piano. And I will be learning to make that music. Starting this summer. 12 Scales, people!
Which language, I have not figured out yet, but I’m doin’ it.
But Russian sounds like, ridiculously awesome, doesn’t it?
Gah. Pre-Goal to Goal No. 2- Pick a freaking language.
Yes, it is only 48 seconds. I know, when I heard it the first time, I cried and wanted to hear more too.
I have quite a list, so I’m going to explain in a series of
posts because, honestly, I keep adding to the list. We’ll see how
unsuccessful I am!
Here’s the thing about this goal: I have a really nice keyboard. Do you think I use it? Nope.
My senior year of high school, I had an obsession with any
song with a great piano part in it. For those of you who don’t know me too
well, I was a tenor saxophone player in my high school band. It was an awesome
sax because it was covered in black lacquer. Yeah, I was that cool.
Anyways, the point is: I
knew how to read music, but I was really tired of the saxophone. I wanted to
learn a new instrument that, quite frankly, sounded better than a sax. If you
aren’t a fantastic saxophone player, some pretty obnoxious noises find their
way out of that horn. And to add to my decision of a new instrument, I have a
liking (or loving… maybe obsession) toward strings. Orchestrated soundtracks
are my favorite thing to listen to. There are so many styles that come with a
soundtrack. Maybe a romantic feel with pleasant, cheeky notes. Or a powerful,
exciting beat - perfect music for cleaning and cooking. Because, you
know, you need power for that kind of stuff.
Some soundtracks have cool cultural influences, like Indian music with a sitar or French music with an accordion. I love it all. My imagination runs wild with every note.
ANYWAYS. Strings. They obviously call to me, so I decided a piano will have to be my graduation gift.
So I got one. Two years of having it, and guess what I know…
Two scales. Ugh. Sad. Pathetic.
I still adore the music that comes from a piano. And I will be learning to make that music. Starting this summer. 12 Scales, people!
Which language, I have not figured out yet, but I’m doin’ it.
I know a very tiny amount of German, but I’ve got my older brother that
knows German, so I need something different. I’d like to stick with a European
language, though. Currently I am leaning toward French. I really want to travel
to France so perhaps that language would be most practical for me.
But Russian sounds like, ridiculously awesome, doesn’t it?
Gah. Pre-Goal to Goal No. 2- Pick a freaking language.
I’ll leave you with a youtube video of the song that started
my pathetic Piano Movement!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Oh love.
I've finished reading the most amazing book by Max Lucado called "Just Like Jesus" and Max addresses a very interesting concept. The concept: Can we live in God's presence constantly? Of course God is perpetually present, but what about the fact that we can communicate? Is it possible to enjoy a constant communication with Him? Is this intimacy possible?
Frank Laubach took upon this question. He was a missionary that lived from 1884 till 1970. He taught and read scripture to the illiterate. His writings are amazing.
"Can we have that contact with God all the time? All the time awake, fall asleep in His arms, and awaken in His presence? Can we attain that? Can we do His will all the time? Can we think His thoughts all the time?... Can I bring the Lord back in my mind-flow every few seconds so that God shall always be in my mind? I choose to make the rest of my life an experiment in answering this question."
Frank was dissatisfied with His spiritual life, so he decided he with live in "continuous inner conversation with God and in perfect responsiveness to His will." He journals about his travels and experience with finding God minute-by-minute. His entries are amazing.
January 26, 1930: I am feeling God in each movement, by an act of will--willing that He shall direct those fingers that now strike this typewriter--willing that He shall pour through my steps as I walk.
March 1, 1930: This sense of being led by an unseen hand which takes mine while another hand reaches ahead and prepares the way, grows upon me daily... sometimes it requires a long time early in the morning. I determine not to get out of bed until that mind set upon the Lord is settled.
April 18, 1930: I have tasted a thrill of fellowship with God which has made anything discordant with God disgusting. This afternoon the possession of God has caught me up with such sheer joy that I thought I never had known anything like it. God was so close and so amazingly lovely that I felt like melting all over with a strange blissful contentment. [ So amazing! :) ] Having had this experience, which comes to me now several times a week, the thrill of filth repels me, for I know its power to drag me from God. And after an hour of close friendship with God my soul feels clean, as new as fallen snow.
May 14, 1930: Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, of making Him the object of my thought and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across. It is working. I cannot do it even half of a day-- not yet, but I believe I shall be doing it some day for the entire day. It is a matter of acquiring a new habit of thought.
May 24, 1930: This concentration upon God is strenuous, but everything else has ceased to be so. I think more clearly, I forget less frequently. Things which I did with a strain before, I now do easily and with no effort whatever. I worry about nothing, and lose no sleep. I walk on air a good part of the time. Even the mirror reveals a new light in my eyes and face. I no longer feel in a hurry about anything. Everything goes right. Each minute I meet calmly as though it were not important. Nothing can go wrong excepting one thing. That is that God may slip from my mind.
June 1, 1930: Ah,God, what a new nearness this brings for Thee and me, to realize that Thou alone canst understand me, for Thou alone knowest all! Thou art no longer a stranger, God! Thou art the only being in the universe who is not partly a stranger! Thou art all the way inside with me-- here... I mean to struggle tonight and tomorrow as never before, not once to dismiss thee. For when I lose Thee for an hour I lose. The thing Thou wouldst do can only be done when Thou hast full sway all the time.
Last Monday was the most completely successful day of my life to date, so far as giving my day in complete and continuous surrender to God is concerned... I remember how as I looked at people with a love God gave, they looked back and acted as though they wanted to go with me. I felt then that for a day I saw a little of that marvelous pull that Jesus had as He walked along the road day after day "God-intoxicated" and radiant with the endless communion of His soul with God.
Whether or not you agree with Laubach's journey, God wants us to be intimate with Him. God draws several pictures to describe the relationship we should have with Him. One is of a vine and a branch.
"I am the vine, and you are the branches. If any remain in me and I remain in them, they produce much fruit. But without me they can do nothing... If you remain in me and follow my teachings, you can ask anything you want, and it will be given to you. (John 15:5,7)
God wants you to communicate with Him. How would you feel if you loved someone so much, but knew that they never even spared a thought about you? On the other hand, how would it feel to know that the person you loved so deeply was thinking about you constantly? You would be giddy and overflowing with joy. Love is so wonderful.
Give your love to God. And buy Max Lucado's book. You will seriously love it.
Buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Just-Like-Jesus-Bestseller-Collection/dp/0849921228/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335058294&sr=8-1
Frank Laubach took upon this question. He was a missionary that lived from 1884 till 1970. He taught and read scripture to the illiterate. His writings are amazing.
"Can we have that contact with God all the time? All the time awake, fall asleep in His arms, and awaken in His presence? Can we attain that? Can we do His will all the time? Can we think His thoughts all the time?... Can I bring the Lord back in my mind-flow every few seconds so that God shall always be in my mind? I choose to make the rest of my life an experiment in answering this question."
Frank was dissatisfied with His spiritual life, so he decided he with live in "continuous inner conversation with God and in perfect responsiveness to His will." He journals about his travels and experience with finding God minute-by-minute. His entries are amazing.
January 26, 1930: I am feeling God in each movement, by an act of will--willing that He shall direct those fingers that now strike this typewriter--willing that He shall pour through my steps as I walk.
March 1, 1930: This sense of being led by an unseen hand which takes mine while another hand reaches ahead and prepares the way, grows upon me daily... sometimes it requires a long time early in the morning. I determine not to get out of bed until that mind set upon the Lord is settled.
April 18, 1930: I have tasted a thrill of fellowship with God which has made anything discordant with God disgusting. This afternoon the possession of God has caught me up with such sheer joy that I thought I never had known anything like it. God was so close and so amazingly lovely that I felt like melting all over with a strange blissful contentment. [ So amazing! :) ] Having had this experience, which comes to me now several times a week, the thrill of filth repels me, for I know its power to drag me from God. And after an hour of close friendship with God my soul feels clean, as new as fallen snow.
May 14, 1930: Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, of making Him the object of my thought and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across. It is working. I cannot do it even half of a day-- not yet, but I believe I shall be doing it some day for the entire day. It is a matter of acquiring a new habit of thought.
May 24, 1930: This concentration upon God is strenuous, but everything else has ceased to be so. I think more clearly, I forget less frequently. Things which I did with a strain before, I now do easily and with no effort whatever. I worry about nothing, and lose no sleep. I walk on air a good part of the time. Even the mirror reveals a new light in my eyes and face. I no longer feel in a hurry about anything. Everything goes right. Each minute I meet calmly as though it were not important. Nothing can go wrong excepting one thing. That is that God may slip from my mind.
June 1, 1930: Ah,God, what a new nearness this brings for Thee and me, to realize that Thou alone canst understand me, for Thou alone knowest all! Thou art no longer a stranger, God! Thou art the only being in the universe who is not partly a stranger! Thou art all the way inside with me-- here... I mean to struggle tonight and tomorrow as never before, not once to dismiss thee. For when I lose Thee for an hour I lose. The thing Thou wouldst do can only be done when Thou hast full sway all the time.
Last Monday was the most completely successful day of my life to date, so far as giving my day in complete and continuous surrender to God is concerned... I remember how as I looked at people with a love God gave, they looked back and acted as though they wanted to go with me. I felt then that for a day I saw a little of that marvelous pull that Jesus had as He walked along the road day after day "God-intoxicated" and radiant with the endless communion of His soul with God.
Whether or not you agree with Laubach's journey, God wants us to be intimate with Him. God draws several pictures to describe the relationship we should have with Him. One is of a vine and a branch.
"I am the vine, and you are the branches. If any remain in me and I remain in them, they produce much fruit. But without me they can do nothing... If you remain in me and follow my teachings, you can ask anything you want, and it will be given to you. (John 15:5,7)
God wants you to communicate with Him. How would you feel if you loved someone so much, but knew that they never even spared a thought about you? On the other hand, how would it feel to know that the person you loved so deeply was thinking about you constantly? You would be giddy and overflowing with joy. Love is so wonderful.
Give your love to God. And buy Max Lucado's book. You will seriously love it.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I don't know.
It's been a while since I have updated the blog, but I feel like getting back into it.
I don't know. Life is a struggle right now.
I want to follow Jesus more than anything. More than a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. I wish I knew how to do it. I feel so wrapped up in my life here in Michigan. Wrapped up in school, work, social life. I'm held captive in MI. I'm confused because I have this desire... maybe moreso an obsession, with leaving. I want to leave so bad. But how can I? With the fact that I am midway through school... how can I leave my education and be able to take care of myself with no degree? Bleh.
Seriously, people. I'm obsessed with leaving my life.
My safe life. I have this desire to leave safety and search for Jesus... in ways that can be dangerous. I've found Him in my every day life, but I want more. I want to find more of Him in ways that will really draw me close. I feel so safe in my cocoon of school and work because they are an excuse to not give more of my time to Him. I need to take away the safety net somehow. But how?
I feel like Bella Swan. Seeking her beloved Edward by putting herself in dangerous situations to hear his voice.
However, God is way better than Edward. Also, Bella is dumb.
Maybe I'm wrong. God can be found anywhere, but only if you seek Him out. Maybe I don't have to seek danger and persecution to be closer to Jesus. But why is my heart being pulled to do so? Like, its not a tug. It's a yank. A constant, downright annoying yank that I think about so much.
I don't know. Life is a struggle right now.
I want to follow Jesus more than anything. More than a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. I wish I knew how to do it. I feel so wrapped up in my life here in Michigan. Wrapped up in school, work, social life. I'm held captive in MI. I'm confused because I have this desire... maybe moreso an obsession, with leaving. I want to leave so bad. But how can I? With the fact that I am midway through school... how can I leave my education and be able to take care of myself with no degree? Bleh.
Seriously, people. I'm obsessed with leaving my life.
My safe life. I have this desire to leave safety and search for Jesus... in ways that can be dangerous. I've found Him in my every day life, but I want more. I want to find more of Him in ways that will really draw me close. I feel so safe in my cocoon of school and work because they are an excuse to not give more of my time to Him. I need to take away the safety net somehow. But how?
I feel like Bella Swan. Seeking her beloved Edward by putting herself in dangerous situations to hear his voice.
However, God is way better than Edward. Also, Bella is dumb.
Maybe I'm wrong. God can be found anywhere, but only if you seek Him out. Maybe I don't have to seek danger and persecution to be closer to Jesus. But why is my heart being pulled to do so? Like, its not a tug. It's a yank. A constant, downright annoying yank that I think about so much.
Ugh. Ya know what I mean?
Yes. Yes I do.
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