Hey! I'm going to New York!
I'm SO excited. And EXTREMELY nervous.
Here's what I'm doing: I am working with an organization called Models For Christ that is seeking to honor God in the fashion industry. From what it sounds like, I'll just be loving on models at the shows and helping them with anything they need and praying for them! I'll be working eleven shows!
It sounds so great.
But I'm also really nervous. This is my first time traveling alone. My parents seem really unsure of this trip, which makes me question it all the time. I'm not really sure where I'm staying yet. Or how I'll afford meals every day. And not to mention (this is something I have yet to confess on the blog), I'll be dressing models back stage and I am very uncomfortable with nakedness.
Backstage dresser. And I can't stand nudity. I always look up movies on IMDB before I watch them and check the parental control section to see if any nudity is present. I get all uncomfortable with sensual scenes especially if they are acted out really well.
It feels so personal. It's like I'm getting involved in a very intimate part of a relationship. Even if it's not real.
So I'll be challenged. And that's a big reason why I'm going. When I challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone, God reveals the CRAZIEST stuff to me. I've never experienced anything more fantastic. But I am so stubborn. I love being comfortable. It's so easy to stay where I am in my relationship with God.
But that's not what being a follower of God is. He never said it's easy to follow Him. It takes dropping all the sinful stuff and putting it to death. Putting to rest all those crappy things I am tempted with, and walking with God.
Sometimes it sucks. I'm just being honest. Some people think I'm an absolute idiot. That I'm brainwashed. I don't think for myself and the fairytale of God just makes life easier for me to go through. And that I'm a "goody two-shoes." May I remind you, I have genitals and a mind that is wired the same way yours is. It may seem like I'm all pure up in here...nope. It's not all crafts and bible scriptures bouncing around in there.
It sucks hearing what the world thinks about Jesus. It's very tempting to become a hermit and just do nothing about my faith and hide it away. Live a life looking out for my own skin.
Ahhh that's just too easy. I'm not doing that. Living life for Jesus is full of so much danger and uncertainty. It's a recipe for adventure. I follow him no matter what my finances are or my relationships are like. Where I am at with my job and in my schooling. I trust that He knows me best. He'll lead me into a life better than I've ever set out for myself.
So I accept the challenge. I invite the uncertainty of finances in. The cluelessness I'll experience when I step into the airport. The confidence I'll need for working in a fast-paced atmosphere. The redness that will come to my cheeks as I see someones badonk-a-donk.
Ah yes. Here we go. Come Lord Jesus.